A personal reflection by Hope Wells, Digital Media & Design Coordinator at Star Gospel Mission.
A note to readers: please read with care, as this reflection portrays domestic violence and physical abuse.
I kept a diaper bag packed with my 4 month old’s essentials, our birth certificates, and emergency cash tucked underneath everything else. I didn't know when I'd have the chance to leave. I only knew I needed to be ready.
One day, I saw a window and took it. I grabbed my child and the bag. I didn't even have a car seat. As I headed out the door, I noticed a vase of three dozen red roses he'd given me after the last time he hit me. I slammed the vase onto the floor.
I watched all 36 roses scatter across the floor. Maybe it was petty. Maybe I needed that one last moment of defiance. Either way, I ran. Not every person gets that chance.
I went straight to a women’s shelter. I had been there 3 or 4 times before. Always sitting in that little room deciding if I wanted to stay or go back. This time, I stayed. The outpouring of support and love was immediate. I was safe, surrounded by people who understood and didn't make me justify why I was there. For the first time in what felt like forever, I could imagine that I might really leave for good.
Leaving an abusive relationship, is rarely as simple as walking out the door. Safety, finances, children, housing, fear, and countless other circumstances can make leaving complicated. We should never judge someone for staying or for how many times it takes to leave.
A Moment of Pride
At Star Gospel Mission's World Homeless Day Gala on October 10, nearly 500 people gathered to support our mission and hear stories that remind us why this work matters. One Mission Guest shared her own deeply personal story with the room. Watching her speak with such courage and eloquence filled me with pride. I recognized something in her story, and I was reminded of the power of hearing another survivor's experience: we are not alone.
Not everyone wants to share their story publicly, and no one should feel pressured to do so. But when someone chooses to speak, listening without judgment can be a powerful way to show support.
Domestic Violence Awareness Month may be over, but the need for understanding and support continues all year. We can listen, offer support without judgment, and help make resources accessible to people who need them.
Everyone deserves to feel safe in their home. And when home is no longer safe, everyone deserves the chance to find safety somewhere else. No one should have to earn that. No one should have to prove they deserve it. And no one should have to face the journey toward something new entirely alone.
Safety should never be a privilege. Everyone deserves choices, support, and the chance to begin again.
If You or Someone You Know Needs Support
You do not have to be ready to leave to ask for help. The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers free, confidential support and resources for people experiencing abuse and those concerned about someone they know.
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Call: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Text: START to 88788
Website: https://www.thehotline.org/
Visit the website for safety-planning tools, digital safety guidance, and help finding local shelters, legal assistance, counseling, and other community resources. If someone may be monitoring your phone or internet activity, consider using a safer device to seek help when possible. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
